In my last post, I spoke of your priceless gift to me. This post is also about gifts, but it’s about my gift to you.
My gift to you is my honesty. I won’t pretend to be something I’m not in order to get likes, comments, or follows from you. I won’t try to make money from your visit to my attic. I won’t pepper you with Adwords or Affiliate links, and if I recommend something to you, there will be a real-world, non-financially based motive for it. I don’t see any of you as cash cows, future paychecks, or anything other than my silent tribe of support and acceptance.
Now, I make no promises about SS, but this blog is ad free, incentive free, affiliate free… and it will remain so.
Namaste & Blessed be!
The things I write about here are personal. Some of them, I can’t accept myself for sometimes, and the way this series began… let’s just say that I’m not highlighting my good side. Maybe I was testing you. Maybe I was testing me.
I basically just reached inside and pulled up the worst feeling thing I had done, and exposed it. I don’t know why yet. I didn’t know why then.
I simply followed my impulses where they led me. No preconceived notions, no expectations of where this would lead.
One thing I never expected, though (you guys surprised me, for sure) was the silence. The experience of exposing my deepest, darkest, ugliest moments… and there was silence.
Then it happened.
Someone followed me, but silently.
One by one, you have come, read, and followed, in silence. Neither encouraging nor discouraging me with your words, just allowing me to express what I need to in mine… and in doing so, you have expressed an acceptance of who I am more deeply than words from any comments on any blog I’ve ever written.
For that reason, I have now disabled the comments on this blog. Not because I don’t value your responses (had there been any), but because your silent acceptance has been a priceless gift for me, one which I almost missed out on completely, because I was beginning to get discouraged by the silence…
Thank you for your gift to me.
My last post may leave some of you wondering why I even have this blog public. Where is your value here? Why have I let you in to this space of mine?
Allow me to explain…
The reason I have made this personal space of mine public, the immeasurable value which you, my silent readers, offer to me can be summed up in one word;
If you manage to find your way to this blog, you will probably notice very quickly that it’s pretty quiet and empty.
I don’t get a lot of visitors, because I don’t go out searching for them to draw them in. For my other blog, I search. I send out feelers, in the form of likes and comments, in search of my ‘tribe’, but here, I simply allow my thoughts to exist, to float around in the ether, collecting whatever attention they may on their own.
I allow myself to be more… authentic here. While I generally write in a ‘stream of consciousness’ style in both places, I try to tie things together with some amount of cohesiveness over there on SS. But here, I allow my thoughts to wander onto the page, and dally where they may, with very little point or plot.
I find it both freeing and comforting to know that long after I’m gone, these real, uncensored pieces of myself will continue to float out there in the interwebs, or at least for as long as WordPress exists.
If you do manage to find your way here and wade through my ramblings enough to read these words… namaste. The divine within me greets and honors the divine within you, and when we meet again on the other side, let’s have a laugh over the madness, eh?