I Deserve Better

A rhyming poem about realizing my own value, and letting go of those who don’t value me.

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I hear the thoughts

In my head

Circling round and round.

No one likes you.

No one cares.

Tears roll without sound.

Stop being dramatic

I tell myself

But the evidence abounds.

*

When I pay the bill

They find the time

Their schedules magically free.

But calendars fill

And time dries up

When the only incentive is me.

I’m giving up

because I refuse

to beg on bended knee.

*

I’m there for you.

I give my time.

I give my heart and soul.

But when I ask

For a little back

Your time is now precious as gold.

I’ve played my hand

and you’ve played yours,

I think it’s time we fold.

*

You’re being selfish,

I tell myself

As I sit at home and cry.

But the more I say it

The angrier I get,

Because it’s a giant fucking lie.

I’m done with sorrow.

I’m done with tears.

It’s time I said goodbye.

*

I truly enjoyed

the time we had

but it’s coming to an end.

It takes more 

than my wishful thinking

and rifts you never cared to mend

to earn the right

and the honor

of being called my friend.

~○~

08/18/17

AGP

For the record, I’d like to reassure everyone I am okay… I only finished this up today.  I was having a bit of a pity-party when I began writing this poem, but by the time I finished it today, I had come to the startling realization that I’ve been holding on to quite a few ‘friends’ who let me go a long time past, I just wasn’t willing or able to accept it because I wasn’t ready, and I’d done nothing wrong.  This was a purging of sorts.

Author: Amanda

I'm married to my best friend, we live in Virginia, USA, and have one cat together. I am literally going through the process of developing my Self. Until recently, I had no concept of who I was, what I wanted, or even that I didn't know these things. That's all changed, and as a result, I am changing at a rapid pace. Try and keep up.