Confessions (Part 18)

The things I write about here are personal.  Some of them, I can’t accept myself for sometimes, and the way this series began… let’s just say that I’m not highlighting my good side.  Maybe I was testing you.  Maybe I was testing me.

I basically just reached inside and pulled up the worst feeling thing I had done, and exposed it.  I don’t know why yet.  I didn’t know why then.

I simply followed my impulses where they led me.  No preconceived notions, no expectations of where this would lead.

One thing I never expected, though (you guys surprised me, for sure) was the silence.  The experience of exposing my deepest, darkest, ugliest moments… and there was silence.

Then it happened.

Someone followed me, but silently.

One by one, you have come, read, and followed, in silence.  Neither encouraging nor discouraging me with your words, just allowing me to express what I need to in mine… and in doing so, you have expressed an acceptance of who I am more deeply than words from any comments on any blog I’ve ever written.

For that reason, I have now disabled the comments on this blog.  Not because I don’t value your responses (had there been any), but because your silent acceptance has been a priceless gift for me, one which I almost missed out on completely, because I was beginning to get discouraged by the silence… 

Thank you for your gift to me.

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Author: Amanda

I'm married to my best friend, we live in Virginia, USA, and have one cat together. I am literally going through the process of developing my Self. Until recently, I had no concept of who I was, what I wanted, or even that I didn't know these things. That's all changed, and as a result, I am changing at a rapid pace. Try and keep up.