Girl (Woman) In Silence

My ears ring with the silence.

I haven’t watched television when I’ve been alone at home for a while now.  I have better things to do.  Like sit in silence, and wonder what I should write in the first post of my second new blog this week.

Yeah. I’m that girl.  Woman.

It’s weird that, even at 36 years old, when I’m thinking about myself, I still have a hard time classifying myself as a ‘woman’ instead of a girl.  It just doesn’t fit well.  Like I’m clomping around in my mom’s high heels, playing dress up.

The only time I assert my ‘womanhood’ is when I feel like someone is treating me like a child.

‘I’m a grown-ass woman!’

I usually wonder, at the times when I happen to notice that about myself, whether that’s normal.  Does my mom still think of herself as a ‘girl’, in her own mind? or is it the part of me that’s still stunted, the inner child that never got a chance to grow up?  Do women which I would label ‘successful’ from the outside, the ones that actually went to college, got good jobs, actually lived alone at some point in their lives… do those women still think of themselves as a ‘girl’ sometimes, or is it just another way that I’m broken?  One more thing to add to the long list of ‘repairs’ that I need to make?

If you happen to find this blog, and care to chime in, please do.  

Is there actually an age where we get to feel ‘all grown up’?  

Is it just a female thing?  

Do men reach their 30’s, 40’s, or beyond, still feeling like a teenager inside?

Ply me with your thoughts.


Author: Amanda

I'm married to my best friend, we live in Virginia, USA, and have one cat together. I am literally going through the process of developing my Self. Until recently, I had no concept of who I was, what I wanted, or even that I didn't know these things. That's all changed, and as a result, I am changing at a rapid pace. Try and keep up.

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